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Searched for: 1/21/2022 - Found: 7/30/2008 to 8/5/2008
Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.
Very important rules for using the Reward Chart
Never take a sticker off the Reward Chart for bad behaviour
Never take a sticker off the Reward Chart for bad behaviour
The Reward Chart is an affirmation of positive behaviour and a reward for that.

Do not use the Reward Chart to bribe your child
Only put stars or stickers on the Chart for things that are done in accordance with the Chart, because this will introduce inconsistencies in the reward system.

Get buy in from other carers
Once again this is down to consistency and helping your child to know what is, and what is not generally acceptable behaviour. It may be impossible to get everyone on side with the star chart, and of course it depends on what behaviours you trying to correct. If they are general behaviours that carry across from home to home, then some degree of cooperation is going to be vital to the success of the system. However, it's not always imperative to be completely aligned.

. . . If you are separated from your partner (the child's other parent) then your child will very quickly learn that different rules apply at both their homes, and as long as the basic rules of respect and thoughtfulness apply then some variation is a good thing. As long as important rules are consistent, it's not necessarily a bad thing to show them that life is flexible when the situation demands it. If you use the Reward Chart booklet so that it can be taken back and forth (by your child) from home to home then it is very important to discuss the aims of the Chart and the tasks and reward strategy with your child’s other parent or carer to make sure that the Chart is equally valid in both homes and that the rules are being applied equally.

Never ever make your love conditional on achieving the goals set out on the chart
Your children need and deserve your unconditional love and it is very damaging for a child to think that he or she has to earn your love. It is right to teach your children that they need to earn your respect and approval and that this is to a large extent a two way street, but your love must be given unconditionally as a framework, within which they can grow and flourish.

If the Chart doesn’t seem to be working you might need to change the targets
You should talk to your child about any changes. The Reward Chart is intended to give them rewards for doing the right thing, but it only works if it is in their power to do the thing you have agreed. If it doesn’t appear to be working, then at first try doing the things with your child, so that you can see what the problem is, and then after a chat about it agree how you are going to change it to make it easier to achieve success.

. . . If you are experiencing significant behaviour problems then remember that you can always consult your family doctor (GP) or discuss the problem in confidence with one of the child’s teachers or a health visitor.


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Rewarding success
Poor behaviour is always difficult to deal with and as a parent being consistent all the time can be very hard. If you have just split up from your partner, then emotions will be running high and it's likely that the normal routines will have been changed. It is crucial at this time to try and give good balanced attention to your children, that despite the change in circumstances, and the emotional stress you are experiencing, shows that you are going to be there for them, and still give them the attention they need.

Children crave your attention, and quite often it turns out that bad behaviour is a reliable mechanism for getting your attention

If you get cross with your child when things don’t go right and your child doesn’t do what they should, although this is not nice for them, the child sees this as a way of getting the attention he or she needs, and starts to rely on this as a means of interacting with you on a very personal level. As a result, a very destructive cycle is set up. Reward Charts (sometimes called Star Charts) are great ways to get things working in you and your children’s lives and help your children understand what behaviours you are proud of and how they can contribute to the smooth running of a happy home. By using them you'll really show them that you appreciate their efforts.

Reward Charts, in various shapes and sizes work for any age. After all, think about all those store loyalty cards or 'buy nine coffees get one free' cards that large retail companies use to reward adults for certain desired behaviours. On dadcando we have some lovely Reward Charts and Reward Chart Booklets, designed specifically with the single parent in mind (although they are suitable for any dad or mum). All are quick to download and there is even a sheet of stickers to download so that you can print and make your own stickers if you want and get started right away.

Before you start, make sure you have read the instructions and reward chart rules and if the reward chart is to go between homes, that you have the agreement and buy-in of your ex-partner, because consistency is a major factor in reward chart success.

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