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Searched for: 1/28/2022 - Found: 7/30/2008 to 8/5/2008
Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.
Follow these instructions to have a successful Reward Chart experience
Be clear about what you expect your child to do
Talk to them about what you expect and why this helps them and the family. Donít try and fix everything at once. It is better to choose some easy to fix behaviours at first that give a positive reinforcement of the system. These could be things like making their beds, sitting at the table for the whole meal, being well behaved at the table, doing their homework without a fuss or making their beds for example. Do not be vague about what behaviours you are rewarding.

Help them to do the task for the first few times
Encourage them if itís something that they have to do on their own. Remember that your praise and attention is what they want. Help them to see how well they are doing.

Make sure the reward is something that they want
This doesnít mean an expensive gift or costly bribe. It could be earning time on the computer game, or earning a small amount of extra pocket money (say 20p - £1) towards buying a comic or book. Smaller children will enjoy the winning of stars or stickers as much as anything, whereas older children will require a bit more creativity in their reward system. Each child will have different things that motivate them. Donít make normal things that you do a condition of the Reward Chart, it should be something special.

Donít put off getting the reward
You must be prepared for the success of the Reward Chart. If you have agreed that your child will receive something when he or she has filled up the row of stars, then make sure you get the promised reward. Keep your side of the bargain.

Make sure you set a good example
Children are learning machines and like sponges, they spend their time picking up our bad (and good) behaviours. Look at the things you do and the way you behave and see if it is showing them a bad example. Remember that children pick up on the most subtle behaviours of the adults around them.

Stick with the system
Things wonít change overnight, so remember it might take time to really work, especially where behaviours have become entrenched over a few months or year. Often it seems harder at first, helping and encouraging the child to do the things that they need to do. When this happens it sometimes seems easier just to do the thing yourself. In the end this is not the best route. Make sure you spend the time needed to get things working properly. So if they have a task to do, donít do it for them, just help them to do it. Children need consistency so saying what you are going to do and then doing it is very important. Never promise anything you canít deliver.

Get your child interested in the Reward Chart right from the start
Choose the Reward Chart with your child, to get their early buy-in to the process. Show them the Chart let them help you print it out and make the stickers with you, or help you choose and buy the stickers at the shops. Explain to them how it works and put the Chart somewhere that everyone can see it so that they can be proud of their progress and show it off to others if they want. The fridge door or the living room are good places to put the Chart. The dadcando reward charts have been designed so that they also fold up as booklets, perfect for separated parents, because the chart can be taken from home to home. If you do this make sure you have your partner onside with the idea first. Show that you are interested in the chart once it gets going, by checking the progress and praising success.

There are some very important rules for using the Reward Chart, please also read these before you start.


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Rewarding success
Poor behaviour is always difficult to deal with and as a parent being consistent all the time can be very hard. If you have just split up from your partner, then emotions will be running high and it's likely that the normal routines will have been changed. It is crucial at this time to try and give good balanced attention to your children, that despite the change in circumstances, and the emotional stress you are experiencing, shows that you are going to be there for them, and still give them the attention they need.

Children crave your attention, and quite often it turns out that bad behaviour is a reliable mechanism for getting your attention

If you get cross with your child when things donít go right and your child doesnít do what they should, although this is not nice for them, the child sees this as a way of getting the attention he or she needs, and starts to rely on this as a means of interacting with you on a very personal level. As a result, a very destructive cycle is set up. Reward Charts (sometimes called Star Charts) are great ways to get things working in you and your childrenís lives and help your children understand what behaviours you are proud of and how they can contribute to the smooth running of a happy home. By using them you'll really show them that you appreciate their efforts.

Reward Charts, in various shapes and sizes work for any age. After all, think about all those store loyalty cards or 'buy nine coffees get one free' cards that large retail companies use to reward adults for certain desired behaviours. On dadcando we have some lovely Reward Charts and Reward Chart Booklets, designed specifically with the single parent in mind (although they are suitable for any dad or mum). All are quick to download and there is even a sheet of stickers to download so that you can print and make your own stickers if you want and get started right away.

Before you start, make sure you have read the instructions and reward chart rules and if the reward chart is to go between homes, that you have the agreement and buy-in of your ex-partner, because consistency is a major factor in reward chart success.

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