You have Javascript disabled and this means that the dadcando website cannot function correctly.

If you want to see dadcando's exciting website full of crafts and making things with and for children then you will have to enable Javascript on your browser.

This content requires the Adobe Flash Player and a browser with JavaScript enabled. Get Flash
dadcando - click to return to homepage
Over 200 top tips and words of advice, to help you really get the most from the time you spend with your kids
Kids growing up /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Coping with change /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Making a new home /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Being involved with your kids /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Be inspired, be inspiring /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Starting again /default_ARCHIVE.asp
Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles Top Ten Tips Articles
Searched for: 10/23/2021 - Found: 7/30/2008 to 8/5/2008
Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.
Microblog Microblog

Reliable routines

by Chris Barnardo

As we get older, we are told that routine is something to avoid, a numbing thing that saps our creativity, stifles our energy and will dull our lustre if we let it. But like it or not, routine is something that we all need a bit of. It is the framework that provides us the security to step out and be creative when we want to. For kids life without routine is very frightening and confusing. When parents split up their childrenís routines are the first casualty. New routines need to be set up quickly. They act as a cushion for the emotional turmoil that surrounds a family breakdown and provide a set reliable reference points for everyone involved.
. . . For dads who suddenly find themselves seeing less of their children than they would like, setting up a few good solid routines can make life a lot more bearable. Dads are good at setting up routines, the best of which grow into family traditions or with repeated use, etch themselves into our memories as happy times we spent together when we were younger.
. . . Here are some great routines that hopefully will inspire you, or give you some ideas about the sort of things that you could be doing with your children to let them know that whatever happens there are still some things in life that they can rely on, so always:

  1. Telephone your children at the same time every day or each week
    Where this is possible arrange with your expartner that you will ring the children at the same time each day. If they are young, stick religiously to the routine. If ringing each day is not possible then fix the best day or days each week and then always ring on those at the agreed time. Wherever you are, make time to do it so your children can rely on you ringing. Sometimes they wonít say much more than goodnight, other times they will chat away about all the things that they have done that day or in the last five minutes.

  2. When you pick up your children always use the same distinctive knock or doorbell ring
    Always be nice and happy when you pick up your children, whatever is said to you or has been said between you and your expartner beforehand. You want to make sure that your children donít get to associate your knock at the door or ring on the door bell with unhappy times.

  3. Go to the bakery on your way back from picking them up and buy a bun each
    The smell of bread is lovely and everything feels better when you have some food inside you. If you donít live near a bakery, buy hot cross buns beforehand and then toast them the minute you get in.

  4. Have and play a favourite tape, CD, or iPod playlist in the car
    Choose tracks with your children or let them choose favourite ones that you can all sing along together to. Make sure that they are upbeat songs.

  5. Always have the same favourite meal on the same day of the week
    Make sure it is a healthy and tasty meal that your children like and then you know that they will look forward to it.

  6. Set aside some time to do homework at the same time each week
    At first this might seem like a chore, but get it right and youíll find yourself spending some real quality time with your children as you sit with them and help them through their homework. Not only do you get to see what they are doing at school, but later you know when they are at school, that bond between you and them will still be there when they hand in their homework.

  7. Set aside one night every month as a home film night
    Rent out that old favourite, or get the latest release, definitely get a bar of chocolate and maybe even some popcorn and make a routine out of it.

  8. Read to your children at bedtime
    Cosy in their beds, warm, happy, relaxed and listening to their dad read them a story, what kid could ask for more, what a lovely routine to look forward to. Get into a good book and youíll be looking forward to the next chapter as much as they do.

  9. Set up a Birthday routine
    Routines donít have to be just about what you do each week. Yearly routines are still ones that we remember as we grow up. Children whose mum and dad donít live together canít spend every birthday day with their mum AND dad. Learn how to be relaxed about this. Donít put too much pressure on THE day, if you can arrange it, alternate the years, if not donít make it a battlefield. Set up a nice birthday routine, a restaurant meal, or a special celebratory trip out. Make it a thing you can do each year, and plan to always do it. Next year will come around soon enough, and before you know it you will have a wonderful birthday tradition to look forward to that doesnít rely on the actual day itself.

  10. Set up a Christmas time tradition to avoid relying on the BIG day
    For the single dad, Christmas can be a tough time of year. Issues about who the children should spend the day itself and those either side can certainly turn what should be a very happy time into a nightmare to be dreaded. Once again try and mentally move yourself away from the idea that the whole holiday relies on the success of that one day. Develop a routine, or tradition that allows you to spread the happiness of the season across more than just one day. Make Christmas stockings with your children with their initial on. Make them properly so that they can keep them and bring them out again next year.

MicroBlog Archive
WEEK 14, 2009
DadÖ can we make something?
Making something with the kids for homework can turn into a memorable and heroic enterprise.
WEEK 13, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 2
How do you stop an argument if you are already in one, here are our top ten tried and tested ways of halting an argument in its tracks
WEEK 12, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 1
Ten reasons actually why people argue (and that's not including what they argue over) to help you avoid the argument traps and habits
WEEK 11, 2009
Getting ready for a new arrival
When you become a dad for the first time your life changes dramatically,so here are ten top tips on how you can prepare practically for the new arrival
WEEK 10, 2009
Don't say goodbye...
Ten top tips for dealing with all the goodbyes a single dad has to say and keep on saying.
WEEK 9, 2009
Can I do that again?
Think twice before you dismiss your kid's quirkiest comments, because children approach life with such an open mind, that there is often a great deal of sense in even the strangest things they say.
WEEK 8, 2009
Food of the gods
Chocolate isn't all bad, in fact it's mostly good, see our top ten reasons why chocolate is good for you
WEEK 7, 2009
The last thing I remembered was...
Everyone has their own way of recognising the importance of the moment, but here are my top ten tips, conveniently sorted in to Mind, Body and Soul.
WEEK 6, 2009
Caring for a sick child
Caring for a sick child is never easy, but if you are divorced or separated then you might find these top ten tips helpful
WEEK 5, 2009
On Passion, Love and Happy Endings
My top ten couples through history and how they measure up on Passion, Love and Happy Endings
WEEK 4, 2009
Another Place at Breakfast
Introducing a new partner to your kids in the right way can make things so much easier for everyone, read our top ten tips for getting it right
WEEK 3, 2009
What's better than a New Year?
We can learn some good lessons from the traditional values upheld at Chinese New Year, we pick 10 customs that would be worth following.
WEEK 2, 2009
Who needs New Year's Resolutions?
Ten of the best New Year's resolutions designed to help you make 2009 your year.
WEEK 52, 2008
Christmas is here
Christmas is here!
WEEK 51, 2008
Christmas without your kids
Every parent's nightmare and many single dads' reality, is a Christmas Day without your kids. Here are ten top tips on how to have a great Christmas even if you aren't able to see your kids on the day itself.
WEEK 50, 2008
Finding dad a date: Part 2, The Dates
Read the second installment of James's search for a new partner with the help of the Absolute Radio Breakfast Show team
WEEK 49, 2008
Finding dad a date
Finding a date is never easy, but it is doubly hard when youíre a single parent. Read the first part of James's story here
WEEK 48, 2008
Christmas and the kids
10 top tips on how to make the most of the Christmas season with your kids when they don't live with you.
WEEK 47, 2008
What do you do about holidays?
10 practical top tips about how plan and negotiate your access over the holidays.
WEEK 46, 2008
Tackling a teenager
10 top tips on how to maintain a sense of fairness and discipline and yet still managing to remain friends with your teenager through those difficult teenage moments
WEEK 45, 2008
Reliable routines
When parents split up their childrenís routines are the first casualty. New routines need to be set up quickly; we've ten top ideas here
WEEK 44, 2008
Rules for Rules
With the right kind of rules kids feel confident, here's our ten top tips for getting getting the rules right in your home
WEEK 43, 2008
Smack or snack
Post separation discipline can turn out to be a problem, so here are our ten top tips for basics of discipline and how to get things working smoothly in your home
WEEK 42, 2008
Getting it right on your first date
Ten tips on how to make sure that a first date turns into a second date
WEEK 41, 2008
Ten great first dates
Where you choose to go on your first date says a lot about you as a person and how you think, so make the most of it with these top ten tips for a great first date venue
WEEK 40, 2008
Getting started with internet dating
Internet dating is a good way to meet new people, so here are some top tips to help you get the most out of online dating
WEEK 39, 2008
How to encourage your kids to read more
So, everyone knows how good reading is for their children, but how do you encourage them to read, or read more. Here are ten top tips to get you started and get your children reading books.
WEEK 38, 2008
The best ten British TV comedy series shows ever
The beneficial effects of laughter 10 of the funniest British TV comedy shows to help start you laughing your way to health
WEEK 37, 2008
Ten ways to be positive
Ten practical ways to be positive when it's tough, from the queen of positive thinking, Dawn Stannard
WEEK 36, 2008
10 ways to grow your kids' creativity
Developing your children's creativity is your job and a very important part of their upbringing, here are ten ways you can help them develop their creativity
WEEK 35, 2008
Relativity: When dark days feel like months
When you are experiencing the trauma of a serious relationship break up, ironically Time seems to slow down, dragging out the pain and making things much worse.
WEEK 34, 2008
Feeding the machine
It's Randomised Variable Interval Reinforcement that makes gamblers gamble and traps normal people in destructive manipulative relationships where they feel unlovable
WEEK 33, 2008
Avoiding pain: Why we stay where it hurts
How can the avoidance of pain be the main human drive when we tolerate so much discomfort in our relationships and our day to day lives?
WEEK 32, 2008
Burning Building
Internet dating is like being in a burning building looking for someone to help get you out, but the only people who can help you are trapped in the same building with you
WEEK 31, 2008
How far have we come?
Humans have been evolving for 1 million years and it's been 10,000 years since Cro-Magnon man developed the family unit, how far have we really come?
WEEK 30, 2008
Who put that cup there?!
What is it that is so seductive about blame? No one is immune to its satisfying qualities and its effects ripple through society at every level. Our kids are an easy target...
WEEK 29, 2008
Winners and Losers?
A thoroughly modern school sports day, that's more about taking part than about making one winner and loads of losers out of us
WEEK 28, 2008
Living apart together
Society is changing, and more and more people have two places they call home, so why is Shared Residence still such an issue?
WEEK 27, 2008
The Children Act, 20 years on, so what's going wrong?
A TV documentary asks what exactly is going wrong with the Children Act, 20 years after becoming law. You can take part and have your say.
WEEK 26, 2008
Mummy says we need a haircut
Do you feel like you're being told what to do by your ex-partner? We explain a little of what's going on and how you can deal with it.
WEEK 25, 2008
Alchemist's Dream
Single parents achieve the alchemist's dream of putting separated things together to turn lead into gold for their kids
WEEK 24, 2008
Happy 100th Birthday, Father's Day
100 years after the first Fatherís Day, is this day just another ďHallmark HolidayĒ or a special time we can use to say what we really mean.
Register with dadcando

Register with dadcando

Advertise on dadcando   |   Site Ethos   |   Privacy Policy   |   Terms and Conditions of use   |   Contact  |   HELP!  |   Follow Chris on twitter  |
Shim© C.Barnardo 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 dadcando ® is a registered trademark.   Content and Design - Chris Barnardo    Technical Development - Darren Tillett