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Over 200 top tips and words of advice, to help you really get the most from the time you spend with your kids
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Searched for: 9/20/2017 - Found: 7/30/2008 to 8/5/2008
Cautionary Tales For Children
Wonderful witty poems great for reading to your children. The stories and rhymes will stay with them for the rest of their lives.


Research has shown how important YOU are to your children and how as a dad the things you do, and keep on doing, really count, whether you live with them, or you are a single dad and are only able see them once a month, once a week or more, what you do really matters. This site is dedicated to all dads but will be of special relevance to the single dad. Remember, you are half the reason your children exist and they need you whether you live with them or not. As their dad, you have what it takes to make their lives successful and fulfilling no matter how often you see them. This site is about all the positive things that we as parents have to offer our children.
Microblog Microblog

Relativity: When dark days feel like months

Microblog
By Chris Barnardo

In the future it should be possible to nip about the universe from star to star by warping space, two American scientists have recently told us1, confirming what millions of Star Trek fans have known for at least the last 40 years. This is good news, even if the progress is only theoretical, because ever since Einstein hobbled the human race by setting the universal speed limit at the Speed of Light, people have gazed up at the stars and hoped that someday his calculations would be found to be faulty. No one wants to have their dreams limited by a cage, even one of cosmic proportions. Mind you, Einstein may well have shown us the restraint but it seems that he also provided a glimpse at the key to unlock it, because while working out that in our universe the Speed of Light was a permanent fixture, he also discovered that Time and Space were things that could be monkeyed with. If he’d have asked me, I would have told him that. Time and Space are strange beasts. For me some days flash by in the twinkling of an eye, and I find myself on the top of a hill where I can clearly see the most distant horizon, while on other dark days, Time drags itself ponderously past me and I know if I looked up I wouldn’t even be able to see my hand in front of my face.
. . . These were the times when I wished my friends and family could understand that my Time was running slower than theirs. These were the times when I wished I could refer them to an elegant mathematical equation by way of explaining my drastically altered reality. These were the times when the hours barely crawled by, and the days seem stretched out into months. These were the days of pain that every day I woke I hoped would be over. These were the days that the more I wished to get by them the more they dragged. Although the platitudes about “just giving it time” and “letting time heal you” actually turn out to be right in the long run, when those close to you tell you as much, the notions are as inconceivable as the advice is unhelpful. When you’re feeling depressed after separating from your partner, all anyone can say is that you need is time, but the sad fact is that Time is something you seem to have far too much of.
. . . When you’re experiencing the train wreck of a marital separation, there really aren’t any elegant equations that describe what you are going through. Perhaps we would have had some if Einstein had turned the glare of his prodigious problem solving ability to the question of The Fluctuating Effects of Depression on an Individual’s Time Perception instead of concentrating on describing the Photoelectric Effect. Perhaps now in place of Special Relativity we would have a theory of Personal Relativity. Instead we have Freud’s dreamy sexual repression, some spooky Jungian mythology, and Robert Plutchik’s basic emotional number crunching to choose from, and none of that is actually much use at the coalface of serious relationship break up. No, if you want immediate relief from the most acute symptoms of leaving-the-family-home, then only the chemists have the answer, and even they can’t promise a long term solution.
. . . Of course my friends and family were right, Time is the key, but speeding it up by filling it with things to do was my answer. To get where you want to go as fast as possible you need to expand your Space and compress your Time. Get out, spend as much time as possible in the light and air. Fix things up to do that you know you’ll enjoy even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t be put off by a slow start, one day you’ll look up from what you are doing and discover that a week has gone by without you noticing it and you’ll find yourself wondering where all your Time has suddenly gone.
. . . And what of the two scientists who want to smooth out Einstein’s speed hump? Well they calculate that even a small spaceship would require the energy-mass of a planet the size of Jupiter to get it going... I wouldn’t book your galactic holiday just yet.



1. Richard K Obousy and Gerald Cleaver, Warp Drive: A New Approach, The Journal of the British Interplanetary Society, September 2008, London.
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MicroBlog Archive
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WEEK 14, 2009
Dad… can we make something?
Making something with the kids for homework can turn into a memorable and heroic enterprise.
WEEK 13, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 2
How do you stop an argument if you are already in one, here are our top ten tried and tested ways of halting an argument in its tracks
WEEK 12, 2009
How to stop arguing: Part 1
Ten reasons actually why people argue (and that's not including what they argue over) to help you avoid the argument traps and habits
WEEK 11, 2009
Getting ready for a new arrival
When you become a dad for the first time your life changes dramatically,so here are ten top tips on how you can prepare practically for the new arrival
WEEK 10, 2009
Don't say goodbye...
Ten top tips for dealing with all the goodbyes a single dad has to say and keep on saying.
WEEK 9, 2009
Can I do that again?
Think twice before you dismiss your kid's quirkiest comments, because children approach life with such an open mind, that there is often a great deal of sense in even the strangest things they say.
WEEK 8, 2009
Food of the gods
Chocolate isn't all bad, in fact it's mostly good, see our top ten reasons why chocolate is good for you
WEEK 7, 2009
The last thing I remembered was...
Everyone has their own way of recognising the importance of the moment, but here are my top ten tips, conveniently sorted in to Mind, Body and Soul.
WEEK 6, 2009
Caring for a sick child
Caring for a sick child is never easy, but if you are divorced or separated then you might find these top ten tips helpful
WEEK 5, 2009
On Passion, Love and Happy Endings
My top ten couples through history and how they measure up on Passion, Love and Happy Endings
WEEK 4, 2009
Another Place at Breakfast
Introducing a new partner to your kids in the right way can make things so much easier for everyone, read our top ten tips for getting it right
WEEK 3, 2009
What's better than a New Year?
We can learn some good lessons from the traditional values upheld at Chinese New Year, we pick 10 customs that would be worth following.
WEEK 2, 2009
Who needs New Year's Resolutions?
Ten of the best New Year's resolutions designed to help you make 2009 your year.
WEEK 52, 2008
Christmas is here
Christmas is here!
WEEK 51, 2008
Christmas without your kids
Every parent's nightmare and many single dads' reality, is a Christmas Day without your kids. Here are ten top tips on how to have a great Christmas even if you aren't able to see your kids on the day itself.
WEEK 50, 2008
Finding dad a date: Part 2, The Dates
Read the second installment of James's search for a new partner with the help of the Absolute Radio Breakfast Show team
WEEK 49, 2008
Finding dad a date
Finding a date is never easy, but it is doubly hard when you’re a single parent. Read the first part of James's story here
WEEK 48, 2008
Christmas and the kids
10 top tips on how to make the most of the Christmas season with your kids when they don't live with you.
WEEK 47, 2008
What do you do about holidays?
10 practical top tips about how plan and negotiate your access over the holidays.
WEEK 46, 2008
Tackling a teenager
10 top tips on how to maintain a sense of fairness and discipline and yet still managing to remain friends with your teenager through those difficult teenage moments
WEEK 45, 2008
Reliable routines
When parents split up their children’s routines are the first casualty. New routines need to be set up quickly; we've ten top ideas here
WEEK 44, 2008
Rules for Rules
With the right kind of rules kids feel confident, here's our ten top tips for getting getting the rules right in your home
WEEK 43, 2008
Smack or snack
Post separation discipline can turn out to be a problem, so here are our ten top tips for basics of discipline and how to get things working smoothly in your home
WEEK 42, 2008
Getting it right on your first date
Ten tips on how to make sure that a first date turns into a second date
WEEK 41, 2008
Ten great first dates
Where you choose to go on your first date says a lot about you as a person and how you think, so make the most of it with these top ten tips for a great first date venue
WEEK 40, 2008
Getting started with internet dating
Internet dating is a good way to meet new people, so here are some top tips to help you get the most out of online dating
WEEK 39, 2008
How to encourage your kids to read more
So, everyone knows how good reading is for their children, but how do you encourage them to read, or read more. Here are ten top tips to get you started and get your children reading books.
WEEK 38, 2008
The best ten British TV comedy series shows ever
The beneficial effects of laughter 10 of the funniest British TV comedy shows to help start you laughing your way to health
WEEK 37, 2008
Ten ways to be positive
Ten practical ways to be positive when it's tough, from the queen of positive thinking, Dawn Stannard
WEEK 36, 2008
10 ways to grow your kids' creativity
Developing your children's creativity is your job and a very important part of their upbringing, here are ten ways you can help them develop their creativity
WEEK 35, 2008
Relativity: When dark days feel like months
When you are experiencing the trauma of a serious relationship break up, ironically Time seems to slow down, dragging out the pain and making things much worse.
WEEK 34, 2008
Feeding the machine
It's Randomised Variable Interval Reinforcement that makes gamblers gamble and traps normal people in destructive manipulative relationships where they feel unlovable
WEEK 33, 2008
Avoiding pain: Why we stay where it hurts
How can the avoidance of pain be the main human drive when we tolerate so much discomfort in our relationships and our day to day lives?
WEEK 32, 2008
Burning Building
Internet dating is like being in a burning building looking for someone to help get you out, but the only people who can help you are trapped in the same building with you
WEEK 31, 2008
How far have we come?
Humans have been evolving for 1 million years and it's been 10,000 years since Cro-Magnon man developed the family unit, how far have we really come?
WEEK 30, 2008
Who put that cup there?!
What is it that is so seductive about blame? No one is immune to its satisfying qualities and its effects ripple through society at every level. Our kids are an easy target...
WEEK 29, 2008
Winners and Losers?
A thoroughly modern school sports day, that's more about taking part than about making one winner and loads of losers out of us
WEEK 28, 2008
Living apart together
Society is changing, and more and more people have two places they call home, so why is Shared Residence still such an issue?
WEEK 27, 2008
The Children Act, 20 years on, so what's going wrong?
A TV documentary asks what exactly is going wrong with the Children Act, 20 years after becoming law. You can take part and have your say.
WEEK 26, 2008
Mummy says we need a haircut
Do you feel like you're being told what to do by your ex-partner? We explain a little of what's going on and how you can deal with it.
WEEK 25, 2008
Alchemist's Dream
Single parents achieve the alchemist's dream of putting separated things together to turn lead into gold for their kids
WEEK 24, 2008
Happy 100th Birthday, Father's Day
100 years after the first Father’s Day, is this day just another “Hallmark Holiday” or a special time we can use to say what we really mean.
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